Show Me Your Humanity
by bigger infinities
Summary: Damon-centric. He wanted to forget her, but he couldn't. She was his humanity, and a part of him doesn't want to let that slip through his fingers a second time.


_Disclaimer: I do not own The Vampire Diaries in the least. I'm just a girl who is suffering from TVD withdrawal._

_Word count: 2,215 (Edited)  
Prompt: Humanity  
Pairing: Delena, one-sided  
Summary: Damon-centric. He wanted to forget her, but he couldn't. She was his humanity, and a part of him doesn't want to let that slip through his fingers a second time._

* * *

Eyes that glowed red lurked in the shadows right outside of a local pub. The smell of alcohol and sweat tainted the air. Laughter floated form the bar, as did the sounds of drunkards stumbling around, trying to catch their footing. There wasn't much to celebrate, though the humans drank as if they're just won a big war. This only made it easier for him, of course, but nonetheless, it was quite disgusting. Had they no dignity? Of course, he really wasn't one to talk, as he consumed more alcohol than the average human every day, but no one had ever said he was not a hypocrite.

Headlights shined in his eyes and he blinked slowly, watching as the car stopped right outside of the bar. There were a couple of teenagers in the car, all dressed up and ready for a night of partying. Not one of them could have been over the age of twenty-one. They all looked seventeen and foolish, though all of human kind had looked foolish to him at one time or another.

All of the humans in the car were girls, and they were blonds. The man in the shadows with the glowing red eyes smirked. He loved blondes, especially drunk ones. They seemed even more oblivious than most other humans. That was the most likely reason they were considered 'dumb blondes' all of the time.

He knew he wouldn't have to wait long for the blondes to stumble back out, so he sat back against the cold stone wall behind him. He took in a deep breath, engine exhaust filling his lungs. He remembered when the air used to smell so fresh, so clean. Now it was polluted, tainted by human-made machines. One would think that they would be smart enough not to destroy the only place they could ever live.

His ears perked as he heard the clicking of heels on the sidewalk, and he watched as someone rounded the corner. They did not look down the alleyway where he was currently sitting, but from what he could tell, they were a brunette. Seeing the chocolate brown hair flowing down the girl's back as she walked into the bar stirred too many emotions in him, emotions that he was trying to keep in check, at least for that night. He knew he wouldn't be going anywhere near that woman, once she too walked out of the bar, drunk beyond belief.

He felt his fangs start to recede. He sat back against the wall again, closing his eyes. He imagined grabbing one of the blondes as they tried opening the door of their car and ripping her throat out. His bloodlust flared up again and his fangs stayed where they were, long and menacing.

He had the sick hope that someone would peer down into the alleyway and see his glowing red eyes. He wanted to see as the fear filled his victim's eyes and smell it as adrenaline rushed through their veins, making his kill even the more satisfying. No one looked down the alleyway, to his great disappointment, but that wasn't that big of a problem to him. As long as he got his meal, he would be able to settle for that.

Looking up, he watched as a few stars winked into existence. Even as a vampire, the stars never failed to fascinate him. So beautiful and bright, yet if you tried to get close to one, it was most likely to kill you. He sucked in another breath, and this time the wind carried the smell of lavender to his senses. He couldn't help but breathe in another lungful of air, memories flashing behind his half-closed eyes. How had it been so easy to get lost in her eyes? She was only human, after all...

He shook those thoughts out of his mind quickly. That was the reason he was here, waiting outside of a bar and hungering for a victim. He needed to forget about her, and the kill was guaranteed to wipe her from his mind, if only for a few minutes, depending on how long he prolonged the kill.

A street lamp flickered to life and he watched with his enhanced eyes as the flies and moths swarmed around it. The yellow-orange glow illuminated part of the sidewalk and street, but as he was able to see perfectly fine in the dark, there was nothing new revealed to him.

The door of the bar crashed open, and one of the blondes he had seen earlier tumbled out. "And don't come back!" he heard, and he gathered that the girl must have been thrown out. None of her friends would be out very soon to help her, unless they were thrown out also. Of that he was sure.

He stood up and let his fangs slide back into his gums for the time being. He could almost feel it as the red drained from his eyes, and he dusted off his pants before he walked out into the light cast by the street light. The blonde didn't seem to notice him at first, so consumed with searching her purse wildly for some supposedly important object.

"Hello," he said smoothly, and her head snapped up quickly at the sound of his voice. Her eyes were glazed over and the strong smell of whiskey floated off her. She was completely hammered. Perfect.

He was no stranger to the fact that the female population of the world thought him sexy and handsome (some of the males probably thought so, too, be he had never tested that out), so it was no surprise when the girl's mouth twisted into a smile that was both seductive and repulsing at the same time. She lost interest in her purse and slowly wobbled over to him, her eyes looking him over more than once.

"Hello," she replied, in a heavily slurred voice. He wondered exactly how many shots of whiskey she had downed before the bartender had realized that she wasn't anywhere near twenty-one.

"Are you having trouble?" he asked, fake concern dripping from his voice.

She nodded excitedly and he forced himself not to roll his eyes at her obvious desperation. "My ex-boyfriend is still in there and now that we're broken up, he doesn't want to drive me home. But I'm sure a gentleman like yourself wouldn't mind helping out a stranded girl like me?" She was trying her hardest to look innocent, but nothing could cover up that mischievous glint in her eyes. He knew she hadn't walked in with a boy too, which made her ruse even more transparent, but he pretended to take the bait, relishing in the fact that he was able to seduce her so easily.

"Why would anyone leave a pretty girl like you to her own devices like that? Here, my car is just around the corner." It was too easy for him, but that's exactly what he loved about it. The fact that he was able to have anything he wanted, at any time, without any resistance. Another image of the girl with the brown hair and brown eyes flashed in his mind's eye, as if saying, Maybe not anything you want. There are things you can't come close to having. He made his mind go blank, only thinking about his prey now.

He slung an arm around her shoulder and led her to where he'd parked his car. She climbed daintily into the passenger side after he unlocked it, and he super sped around the car, knowing she wouldn't notice it while she was so drunk. Not that she would be alive long enough to think very much about it, either.

He started the car up and pulled out on to the road. He could see her smirking at him from the corner of his eye, and he couldn't help but smirk himself. Way too easy. When they reached an empty stretch of road, he pretended to glance at the gas. He groaned for effect, starting to pull over.

"Is there something wrong with the car?" she asked, her drunken smirk still very much in place, but surprise didn't color her voice at all. She had been expecting the car to "break down". Once he'd parked on the side of the road, he turned to the girl. Her blue eyes were bright with excitement, her hair flying out in places. She almost reminded him of Caroline, back before she was turned into vampire. She had always been so stupid in her decisions... but with thoughts of Caroline came her, so he didn't linger on the subject in his mind. The girl started leaning in, and usually he'd go along with it. But tonight he didn't feel like it; he was here for the kill, and the kill alone.

He vamped out, and her eyes, which had been slowly drifting closed, shot open. She screamed and he bared his teeth in a smile. "Don't be afraid," he cooed, and the terror grew in her eyes. She'd stopped screaming and had taken to staring at him in horror with her mouth hanging open. He scooted over to her seat and she shrank back immediately, a petrified squeak escaping her mouth. He chuckled darkly and inhaled, smelling the fear rolling off of her in waves. It nearly overpowered the smell of alcohol, it was so strong.

His thirst finally became too strong and he started leaning in towards her neck, making sure not to go too fast, so he could watch as the helplessness warred with the fear in her eyes.

Just before his lips touched her neck, he heard her voice in his head. Don't do it, whispered the voice, and he recognized it without even having to think about it, knowing it was her. She'd been his conscious ever since he had realized how deep his feelings for her had run. He shivered as he pictured her whispering into his ear just like she had millions of times with Stefan. Don't become that person.

He struggled to clear his mind now, as her voice fought to keep his humanity. When it was clear he couldn't win, couldn't do something with her voice invading his mind, he sat back with a heavy sigh. Who had he become? He didn't know himself anymore, didn't know how this had happened to him. He'd fallen in love, and he'd fallen hard.

"What – what are you going to do with me?" the girl whimpered, only looking slightly relieved. He looked her straight in the eyes and compelled her address out of her, and then made her fall asleep, completely wiping her memory of what had happened.

As he drove, he cursed himself. He let her get under his skin, let her steal his heart, without even knowing it. How could she have this power over him? Even when she says she hates him, he pines for her, like a love-sick teenager. Why couldn't he forget her, get her out of his mind? He wanted to go back to the cold-blooded killer that he'd once been. It was so much easier that way – he didn't have to live up to anyone's expectations, because no one had any for him to live up to. But then she'd come along, and she made him care, made him see the humanity in himself. And now he couldn't go back, couldn't let go of it.

His humanity was like seeing the light after being blind for such a long time. There were good things and bad things about it, but it was something that he didn't know he was missing until he was shown what it felt like to finally be human again. And no matter what he said, there was a part of him – a small part, though it was growing with every passing day – that wanted to cling to that humanity and never let it go again. That part of him wanted to suffer through all of the guilt, the pain, the regret, as long as he could have his humanity in the end. And he knew that because of her, he would always fight for it now, no matter what she thought of him.

He woke the girl up and told her to go home once they were outside of her house, and he watched as she walked safely into her home. He sat in his car after that, just staring into the night. What was he going to do with himself?

He finally decided that going back to the boardinghouse was his only option. He wasn't really welcome anywhere else, so where else could he go?

On the way home, he prayed to whoever was listening that Elena Gilbert would take care of his heart.

Because Damon Salvatore was pretty sure if she crushed it, he wouldn't be able to survive.

* * *

_[A/N]: This seemed a little darker than usual, but I hope you enjoyed it. This is by far my longest one-shot, and I'm quite proud of it. This was also a part of _Project PULL_ something one of my amazing friends _Bookaholic711_ came up with. For more information, go and check out her profile. _

_If you like it, review, if you didn't, review anyway and tell me what a shitty job I did. Either way, I would appreciate some feedback! :D_

_~Icelyn_


End file.
